So there’s this guy I find attractive. He is a bassist in the church where I attend to, which is a plus because I find music-oriented people very sexy. I don’t know if he is really handsome, but he is charming in one way or another.

For weeks now, I’ve been excited to attend church because I’d see him. I make sure I dress well and look great everytime. Well, you know how crushes work right? We’ve all been there, don’t judge. And don’t get me wrong. I listen to the preaching. It’s just a plus when I see him.

There were times when I thought we’d stared into each others’ eyes for about 3 seconds, then he’d look away. I thought there could be something else. But you know. It’s not something I am eager to develop because of what happened with my last relationship. It’s really hard to trust anyone right now.

But whatever.

I said to myself, I won’t do anything to further this one. I don’t even know his name. I said I won’t try to look him up on Facebook (it’s very easy to do this though) because I wanted to keep it this way…

That feeling of naive ‘kilig’ because you have a crush on someone…

Not having idea of his background or current relationship status, but just crushing on him plainly is okay…

His pointed nose, toothy smile, the way he plays the bass, his masculine posture…

I even went up to a level of imagining things about us. Don’t be gross. It’s a mature imagination like courtship and all. Walking side by side, talking about stuff…

It’s easy to have that kind of crush. No hassle. No stress.

But at the same time, you’re also dying to know things. His name, what he does, is he older than I am?, his interests…

But most of all, is he taken? I don’t like to bark at the wrong tree and cause any damage to anything.

So I looked him up (ha ha. I ate my words, I know).

I expected his name starts with J. How typical.

He hikes. What a nice thing to add why I find him interesting.

Oh boy, I am 2 years older. Not good.

He seems nice.

And not sure if he is taken. But there were these pictures of a girl dated 2015. Quite old, yes, but the girl liked his recent pictures. I would safely assume they are still together.

So what happened to naive ‘kilig’?

Ah well, it’s tainted now. But he’ll still be my crush. Just avoiding eye contacts from now on.

I hope I’d find things that will turn me off of him.

Advertisements